you can smell someone peeling an orange from literally 40 miles away
im not even a 2nd choice anymore, im like a 193847271th choice
mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths
I WANT TO CUDDLE YOU BUT I ALSO WANT TO FUCK YOU HARD I AM CONFLICTED
how do you say ‘please talk to me more i crave your company’ to someone without sounding like a creep
I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
how did i even find this website
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
i really hate the attitude a lot of men have about how women are so different and mysterious and hard to understand, as if women are some kind of foreign species and not fellow human beings and then complain about women being unapproachable and ‘prude’
you don’t get to put me on a pedestal and then complain about me being out of reach
"you don’t get to put me on a pedestal and then complain about me being out of reach”
I’ve never heard wiser words.